COST OF SPACE PROBE TO INCREASE (Satire)
The New Horizons probe was priced at $650 million over the course of the project’s lifespan (2001-2016), but NASA must now revise its accounting schedule.
Today Larry Silverstein, the real estate speculator who made billions through insurance payouts after the destruction of the World Trade Center, announced that he had legally purchased the planet Jupiter on January 17, 2006, two days before the launch of the New Horizons probe. In February 2007, the probe will use Jupiter’s gravitational field as a slingshot en route to Pluto. Silverstein has now presented an itemized list of fees totaling $9.2 billion dollars, which will compensate him for NASA’s use of Jovian space.
Silverstein was asked who he had purchased the planet from, but he declined to list the party, citing a confidentiality agreement that bars him from disclosing the seller’s identity or the sale price.
Chick Watson, supervisor of the New Horizons project, said he protested the sudden increase in mission costs, but was told that his objections were anti-Semitic.
Rumors are now circulating that Silverstein has also purchased Pluto, along with significant portions of the Kuiper Belt: a ring of asteroids and comets on the fringe of the solar system. If these rumors are true, then NASA will face additional fees as the probe reaches Pluto in July 2015.
Herschel Rabinowitz, attorney for Mr. Silverstein, said the $9.2 billion dollar fee schedule will most likely have a surcharge added to it, since the Ulysses probe passed Jupiter in 1990. However, since that was 17 years ago, Rabinowitz said his client might be willing to adjust the surcharge on a pro-rated basis.
“I tried to find out who Silverstein bought these planets from,” Watson said, “but I was told I was a Holocaust denier.”
The New Horizons craft is powered by a radioisotope thermoelectric generator, which contains 11 kg of plutonium-238 oxide pellets. Plutonium-238 was used in the bomb that was dropped on Nagasaki. Thus, according to Mr. Silverstein’s attorney, anyone who questions the fees for the New Horizons project impugns an important event in World War II, which, legally, is the same as Holocaust denial.
“If we had known this beforehand, we would have used Saturn as a slingshot,” Watson added. “Now it’s too late to alter course.”
Watson was asked if he had any other legal recourse.
“No, it looks like we’ll have to pay,” he said. “Of course, this is a NASA project, which means that American taxpayers will foot the bill.”
Another Brick said,
January 25, 2007 at 5:52 am
The rumors about Larry Silverfish picking up an option on planet PLUTO are apparently false. It is actually Larry’s old WTC buddy Frankie Lowy who nailed proprietary rights to the planet SATURN in a sweetheart deal with partners Ehood Olmurt and Mortimer Zuckerman, along with a 99 million year development option for the planet’s lucrative rings, which Lowy will convert to mall space for space tourists. A final approval for the deal is pending on a current investigation into Frankie’s purported tender for a hefty chunk of Bank Leumi in Israel. Rumors are also circulating to the effect that billionaire Lowy had sought the tender in an attempt to leverage a merger with Mr. Silverfish that would effectively tie up a major hunk of existing real estate in this Solar System as we have come to know it. Further speculation is said to hinge on finding a competent insurance carrier, and towards that end, there are whispers that the elite financial services of Maurice “Hankie” Greenberg have been sought. All members of this new elite Zioconsortium have reportedly agreed that sufficient coverage must be secured first, as they plan on eventually blowing it all to Kingdom Come.
And when they blow it, the destruction will be blamed on a Palestinian Kassam rocket allegedly modified by al-Qaeda.
Bill in Gnosis said,
January 25, 2007 at 2:39 pm
Oh my God! Tell me it’s not true! It’s getting down right surreal! It’ time to go to work and draw the battle lines!
Bill in Gnosis said,
January 25, 2007 at 2:57 pm
In my prior comments to this blog I made a suggestion about changing the title to “Move Beyond”. I was wrong! “Against” is quite appropriate.
Bill in Gnosis said,
January 25, 2007 at 3:12 pm
FYI, I was just on the NASA web site. The above article is not theirs.
No Bill, of course it’s not theirs. Thanks for commenting.
The actual web address is always given in these satires, so people can access the link themselves.
The purpose of these satires is to provide comic relief, and to highlight the absurdity of Zionism. The way Zionists twist “anti-Semitism” and “holocaust denial” is incredible. The fact that they get away with it is surreal. Zionist apologies for Israel’s conduct are quintessentially Orwellian. Therefore this blog frequently refers to Zionists and their allies as “psychotic,” which is NOT meant as satire.
With Israel and militant Judaism, the line between reality and absurdity has become so blurred that satires like this one are not far from truth. For example, check out the following news item from the Jerusalem Post. It says Israelis are actually buying sections of the moon in advance of a planned US base there. Very surreal…
http://www.jpost.com/servlet/Satellite?cid=1167467657040&pagename=JPost%2FJPArticle%2FShowFull
Another Brick said,
January 25, 2007 at 10:15 pm
Hey Bill ! Pardon my asking, but are you really “in Gnosis” ??
Bill in Gnosis said,
January 25, 2007 at 11:59 pm
Actually, I own a market research company called Gnosis Research, LLC. I try to be a good “Researcher of the Truth” which involves a process of internal/external self discovery or expanding self awareness. The ancient Greeks inscribed above the entrance to the Delphi Oracle “Know yourself and you shall know the universes” I guess this has become sort of a mantra for me. Also, discovering what is zionism has become a mini epiphany for me. I got to say it answers alot of questions for me. That’s what I meant by “in Gnosis”
Bill, regarding epiphanies, you probably know about this web site already , but I’ll mention it nonetheless. http://www.judicial-inc.biz I don’t know who runs it, and I don’t agree with everything he (or she) says, but the blogger discusses current events and historial items in brief, easy-to-read formats. I urge you to dig around that web site (especially its older entries) and pay special attention to its discussions of past events, such as the reason why Hitler invaded Poland, or the rape / murder case that led to the formation of the ADL, (to take two random examples).
Every day we all discover another reason why we have been LIED TO from the day we were born. Were it not for the Internet, we would not have known this. That’s how deeply entranced the West is.
If an author wrote a science fiction novel in which hundreds of millions of people had been hypnotized, the plot would seem ridiculously implausible. Yet that is exactly what has happened in real life concerning the “holocaust” and Jewish “victimhood.”
Thanks for reading. –AG
zionists_uk_usa said,
January 26, 2007 at 6:55 pm
ROFLMCAO
Actually, larry silverstein is trying to negotiate buying this star… Sun
PS:
Now! the question arises, is?; Who exactly ‘is the seller’?
Let me take a WILDWILDguess: ‘em zionistPIGS!. For sure!
ROFAGUASLMCAO(RollsOnFloorAndGetsUpAndStillLaughingMyCrazyAssOff)
zionists_uk_usa said,
January 26, 2007 at 6:57 pm
zionistPIGS! ‘=” theSATAN’S CHOSEN ONES!